He's Clueless What Mothers Go Though
by Jesus.Is.My.Lord
Summary: Sally's shocked and slightly shamed, Paul's confused, Annabeth won't look at Percy, Percy's clueless. Could only be the sex talk. Percy's seventeen and still doesn't know. Dedicated to Innoverse's A Special Kiss. Rated T for a reason, read with caution.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is just a funny two-shot story I came up with after I read Innoverse's story 'A Special Kiss'**

**WARNING: I won't go into graphic details about sex because I've never done it (I'm not married yet), but there will be talk of it. Lots of talk. I'm going off of knowledge that I've acquired over my short life, and I don't know much, Just things my mom and I have talked about. So please don't write a review correcting my knowledge. Anyway, I'm not going to put an age requirement on this, but I am going to ask that if you have little to no understanding or knowledge of what sex is please don't read this. Rated T for a reason.**

**Wow, that was a long ramble.**

**Anyway—Disclaimer: I do not own any PJO thingamabobs in this story.**

Sally's POV

I think my world had officially ended when my soon-to-be seventeen year old son came barging into our family's small apartment with a shocked look firmly planted on his face.

"It is not… a special kiss," Percy seemed horrified.

Paul, my dear husband, simply looked confused, I—on the other hand—completely understood. The dreaded moment of my parenthood had come. I didn't think it would come. "Oh gods," I had to brace myself using the couch. I figured he knew. I thought he would have figured it out by now.

Percy had not moved.

"I missed something," Paul said with confusion written plainly on his face.

"Paul," I sighed out, fearing for my son's innocence. I guess he would have to know sometime. "He doesn't know."

My poor husband was clearly still confused.

"Doesn't know what?" Annabeth Chase, Percy's girlfriend—oh gosh—walked in which had become normal over the past few months.

I watched painfully as Annabeth went to give Percy a hug. Percy jumped back from her with his hands over his mouth after a loud whimper. His legs were crossed like he had to use the restroom. Annabeth's questioning expression was replaced by a look of understanding, shock, and then "Oh dear gods, they told him."

Her eyes were wide. She looked at me. There was a long silence, Paul still confused, then Annabeth announced, "You just brought me into a really, really awkward conversation."

"Annabeth, they told me you didn't have one," Percy said. He was looking at her in utter amazement. The finger he had been pointing at her had somehow too find its way—"Percy don't touch there!"

"Why?"

"Percy you don't know what sex is?" Paul finally understood.

"Huh?"

"Oh save me," my poor son, all the jokes he probably didn't understand, the reason why Annabeth scolded him always telling him to put a shirt on. Oh gosh, he hadn't asked why to be sarcastic like Paul and I had thought, he had asked why because he was generally clueless.

"I always wondered why girls had boobs and guys didn't?" Percy stared like he was trying to burn a hole though her chest. Annabeth's face was fire truck red. She had to slap his hand away again. "Percy don't _touch_."

Percy stepped back, clearly annoyed. "Why not?"

Annabeth looked mortified at me. "A special _kiss_, Sally."

I put my head in my hands, not sure what to make of the situation. "He was _four_," I just—I just didn't—Aug, "If he had been seven, or eight, six even! I would have explained more, but four?"

**Page Break**

Somehow, we managed to make it to the kitchen table. Annabeth sat with her head on the table; her hands at her side. Percy was trying to ask Annabeth questions about herself, Annabeth stayed down. He wouldn't take the answer from me, or Paul. He was becoming exasperated. When he tried to rub her back like he did when something was wrong, she would push his hand away. I guess she couldn't get over him trying to touch her. Her ears were still pink.

I had answered most of his questions when he asked the most horrible question. The question directed at Annabeth after she had taken her head off the table, and had finally decided she could look at him. Oh, I'd hate being Annabeth—the girlfriend—right now. "Annabeth, what's a pussy?"

Annabeth confided in the table again.

Percy having lost hope in trying to get her back up looked at me expectantly.

Poseidon, would you mind if I killed myself and our clueless son?

**A/N: Okay, there wasn't as much sex talk as I thought, too those who still read this story after my warning. Though, it was really suggestive all around.**

**I enjoyed writing the first chapter though. In my beginning authors note I said this would be a two-shot, but I'm having second thoughts. I already have ideas of what I'd do if this was a two-shot, but it seems pretty good as a one-shot.**

**To those who have read and love (or not) my other stories, I'm planning on only doing One-shots, Two-shots, and possibly if they get that far Three-shots. I most likely—unless I get a burst of inspiration—will not be continuing my other stories.**

**Love y'all all(yes, that is correct grammar) PEACE OUT**

…**I'm so lame you guys **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, I already had like three reviews, four followers (not including author followings), and five favorites (not including people who favorited me as an author) after like fifteen minutes of posting the story so I'm going to continue right away.**

**I absolutely love you guys. I find no need to put another warning because you all probably either followed my warning and are safe to read this, or not and you ignored it, which is fine if you want to lose some of your innocence. Just remember to ask your mom or dad if you don't understand something.**

**Again I love y'all and can't wait to see your reviews.**

**You're probably tired of my rambling and stopped reading this A/N a long time ago, and skipped to the story. **

**So here you go. Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own nothing. (I just used a double negative, HA I'm so bad)**

Sally's POV

I was having a considerably normal afternoon. Paul had come back from work early, and he and I were currently sitting on the couch watching Animal Planet, which Annabeth had gotten us into. I had recently had a very…Hm, interesting conversation with my son, and I wondered what he would make of this new found information about life.

_CRASH_

Startled, though this was probably something very normal, Paul and I went out to the hall coming from the front door to see Annabeth with a murderous expression on her face, Percy on the ground without a shirt laughing, and the key bowl spewed across the floor.

Annabeth looked at me with her murderous face and pointed at her boyfriend. "He does this on _purpose_, Sally."

I realized Percy was holding his shirt as he stood up.

"He's turning into Taylor Lautner."

Percy threw his shirt at her with a sour expression. "I don't take my shirt off that much," he said as he wrapped his arms around Annabeth.

"You don't take your shirt off as much as him because it's never on," Annabeth said. She was looking at him like he was stupid, an expression he often gets. She elbowed him in the ribs so he was forced to let go. "Styx, it's like you don't even own a shirt anymore."

Percy gave his shirt that he had pick up off the ground to Annabeth and said, "Keep."

"Percy I am not going to keep your—"

"Annabeth it's yours now. I know how you like wearing my stuff, keep it," Percy smiled his signature smile at her which would normally make her melt and run into his arms cooing. Nope. Not this time. Her face held an angry look. Percy's smile vanished.

Suddenly I understood. Percy had not been using a shirt for sex appeal. Now that he knew what it did to Annabeth, he must have found it funny.

I couldn't hold it in. I laughed long and hard before regaining composer, "Percy go put a shirt on."

Percy laughed, "But Annabeth likes it, though."

"Percy, I'm going to kill you."

"Son, how would you like it if Annabeth walked around with only a bikini on?" I asked him trying to make since to his brain.

He thought for a moment, "I would like that—" He smiled huge face-swallowing smile "—I get silly sparkles in my thingy."

Annabeth started banging her head on the wall, I didn't know what to say, and Paul smiled amused.

"Percy, I'm afraid what your experiencing is a condition called hormones," Paul told him, he almost laughed a few times. "Percy, son, I think it's time you and I had a man-to-man talk."

Percy looked confused then shrugged, "Okay, Paul."

After Percy and Paul went back to Percy's room to talk about sex and hopefully consciences also, Annabeth and I sat down and began watching Animal Planet which had been playing this entire time.

Suddenly, Annabeth's eyes got wide, and she turned off the TV.

"Sally, it's going to be horrible."

"What is?"

"Our wedding night," Annabeth looked horrified. Then in a bad imitation of Percy's voice she added, "Annabeth, you've got little bumps on your boobies!"

"Oh dear gods, help him."

Poseidon, your son…

**A/N: That wasn't as funny… But I still had fun writing it. I hope everyone loves reading it!**

**Have a really good New Year. Have fun (but not too much fun) at all those parties. :)**

**God Bless**

**Ps: I made Percy really, really dumb and clueless in these. Just for the record I don't imagine Percy this stupid. It fits this story and makes it funny.**

**R&R**


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